thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
