Welp...herpes.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
