i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
