How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
