The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize