white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You were trust falling into bushes