North Korea, Best Korea!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
