She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
