Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
