I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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