you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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