honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
