I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
