If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
