the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
