I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
