Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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