"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
