Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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