Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
