Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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