Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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