I think I am morally bankrupt
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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