My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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