We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
