1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
