we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
