don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
