I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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