Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize