Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
