I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
