Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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