How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
