it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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