we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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