but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
