Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
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I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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