Me too!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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