That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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