I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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