i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Randomize
