my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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