I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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