Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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