chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
