As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
