There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
