Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize