Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
