Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
