Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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