Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ugly people sure do ruin things
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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