Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize